Finding inner peace—it’s a concept that some people search for consciously and endlessly. Others think about it wistfully but may not think that it is really possible.
My search for inner peace started in earnest when I was about 36 years old. It occurred to me about that time that there absolutely had to be something more to life than just working as hard as I was. My professional background included a series of pressure-filled sales and sales management positions, hardly a situation for finding inner peace. It seems that I was always “on” as sales people are expected to be and I just wanted to jump off the sales quota treadmill and take a break. I lived for days off and from one vacation to the next, always on the brink of losing it. How I longed for inner peace! My colleagues were much the same. We were all on a fast track to that elusive “somewhere” and in competition with each other for the next promotion. We were also all perfectionists and that didn’t allow for feeling good about where we were in life or for any self-appreciation. I was very far from finding inner peace.
This describes my generation of baby boomers. Most of us gave up the idealism of the 1960’s and decided around 1975 that we had to join the rat race if we were going to have any kind of standard of living at all. And that meant pressure and beating ourselves up to climb the corporate ladder--no time for finding inner peace. The top spots were scarcer then than now, because the market cap of companies was considerably smaller and with that came fewer management and executive-level spots with a huge pool of candidates. Only the strong survived and even some of them were thrown overboard.
I had been doing well with a large private company and was promoted and transferred to a field position from our home in Kansas City to southern California in 1984. My husband left his lucrative management level position with the other big company in town and followed me to San Diego. We were both intent on finding inner peace and we thought that some mild weather might contribute to that.
What we found in San Diego was both wonderful and horrible. The wonderful part was San Diego itself. It is the city with the mildest weather in the nation, incredible beach and mountain scenery and, if that isn’t enough, each little community has its own unique signature beauty—flower fields in Carlsbad and Encinitas, eucalyptus trees in Scripps Ranch and each beach community down the coast was more breath-taking than the next. And I loved my field position. It had the freedom I craved along with selling a product that I loved.
The horrible part was about my poor husband’s employment. We didn’t know it at the time, but there was only one corporate headquarters in San Diego (that is not true today) and his specialty was one that only large companies required. The economy was also in the dumps. So he went jobless month after month when we thought he would easily find employment. It made us both feel powerless and helpless as it was going to take two good incomes to make it in California. I remember sitting on the bed in our new condo that we loved, looking out at the beautiful scene of ducks on a small lake by our house and having a panic attack so intense that I had to run to the bathroom and throw up. That was a day when I dreamed about finding inner peace.
And so it went. We were always struggling in San Diego, it seemed, and the dichotomy of living in paradise and being so financially miserable was getting to us both. I thought we were going to become one of the “happy hobos” we would see on the beach wearing shorts with feet stained a dark brownish/black from going barefoot in the sun and dirt. Again I dreamed about finding inner peace. I wanted to figure out how to become so secure and self confident that I would never ever find myself in this situation again. I found the start of my journey in a most unusual place.
This research took me a long way toward finding inner peace as I contemplated the freedom of multiple lifetimes to “get it right”. This made absolute sense to me and nothing about my former religion had ever made sense. My research went on for several years before I shared my secrets with my husband and I found him to be amazingly open to the idea. He had not been exposed to organized religion growing up, so he was much more open-minded than I. But what my study did was to open my eyes to the possibility of things unseen and intangible. I became more and more open-minded about possibility itself. And I knew that my research would lead me to the information that would make me self-confident and self-sufficient.
I had a new-found inner peace whenever I thought about the fact that I no longer had to fear death. I realized that my fear of it made me nervous, irritable, combative, competitive and overwrought much of the time. My revelation about reincarnation gave me a warm feeling, something that I had never before experienced in my life. So I was not about to give that feeling up. I liked that feeling of finding inner peace. I wanted more. Thus began my spiritual quest to find out my soul purpose and why I had been placed on this earth.
Maybe there is something that you fear deep inside
that is keeping you from finding inner peace. I urge you to research
what you fear with an open mind and not to rely on what others have told
you. As they say, the truth shall set you free! What sparked your
spiritual journey? If you would like to share it here, I encourage you
to do so.
You can contact me here.
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My name is Carolyn Jolly. My professional life has been in sales, marketing and IT management. Along the way I’ve been studying and experimenting with self improvement and personal development techniques for the past 20 years. I have had more than a few mind-blowing experiences and I’ve made some discoveries that have shaped my ideas. I’m now using this website to pass those ideas along.
Our world is changing very rapidly. Many of the constants and institutions we thought to be permanent are now crumbling or changing drastically. This website is dedicated to those interested in how to manage their lives in light of these changes or in just becoming a better person. I hope the information you find here will stimulate you to embark on your own voyage of motivation and self improvement.
I hope that you will find something here that interests you. If you have any questions or comments, you can reach me here.