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How to Build Self Confidence --
Seven Tips

We all want to learn how to build self confidence and be sure of ourselves. Self confidence brings out the best in us. When we are confident we show the world that we feel good about ourselves and our place in the world. Here are seven tips that can teach you how to build self confidence and change your life.




These are the Seven Tips
on How to Build Self Confidence

  1. Keep a running tally of good decisions that you have made. In a small journal or notebook write down every time you make a good decision for about two weeks. This should take the form of “checked traffic reports and changed my route to work so I was on time”, “resolved customer problem”, etc. At the end of two weeks, read over the sum total of your good decisions. Ignore any bad decisions. Tell yourself that you make good decisions and allow yourself to feel how great that feels. Keep doing this and make it a habit. Soon you’ll find that you think of yourself as someone who makes good decisions and the number of bad decisions will diminish. 
  2. Making a list of all the people in your life who think you are terrific is a great way to teach you how to build self confidence. Go back as far as you need to get a substantial list—even to teachers who gave you encouragement. This list is longer than you think and there are a lot of people who think you’re great, but never told you so. Take a few minutes to reflect on each person on the list and how good they make you feel. I recently “linked in” to a colleague from my days at Mattel. I wasn’t really sure he would remember me, but I gave it a shot. He did remember me and wrote, to my surprise, “I remember that you always had a smile on your face at Toy Fair when everyone else looked miserable.” My surprise was that I thought I had been the most miserable person there, but he thought I looked happy!
  3. If someone criticizes you, take an honest look at what was said. If they are speaking the truth, own it and vow to change your behavior to a new, better behavior. Be honest and thank that person for pointing it out and tell them you are going to change.  If, however, after close examination you determine that you were not at fault don’t beat yourself up. Many times we have such an emotional reaction to criticism that we immediately start to feel bad, even though we have done nothing wrong. If you find yourself in this situation, ask yourself why this particular person would criticize you. Is this person projecting their own issue onto you? Are they unhappy in their own life and want to make you unhappy too? Whatever their reason, if you are wrongly criticized don’t let it get you down. It’s best to forget about whatever occurred. Don’t keep thinking about it because research has shown that each time you recall an unpleasant situation it’s like it is happening over and over again. Let it go. It's a great way to learn how to build self confidence, make your life happier and keep you healthier.
  4. Perform your job to the best of your ability. Having the knowledge that you’re doing a good job will build your self confidence. Don’t wait for feedback from your boss, ask for it. Make sure that you understand exactly what is expected of you and make every effort to do what is expected. Also make sure that your boss is aware of what you are doing. I once worked for a boss who was not very engaged. I didn’t get much face-time with him and I wasn’t at all sure that he trusted me. I was very sure that he wasn’t aware of how hard I was working and how many problems I was solving. My brother, a veteran sales manager who was used to working in a satellite office situation, gave me some great advice. He said to create a monthly report for my boss, even though the boss had not asked for it. I did just that, giving my boss a grid of past and current sales numbers, outlining the issues I had faced and what I had done to resolve them and asking for his guidance on issues I couldn’t figure out. My boss received the first report, and came into my office with a big smile on his face. He said he loved the new report and to keep it up. Our relationship was positively changed from that moment forward. Figuring out how to turn around a situation is a great way to learn how to build self confidence.
  5. Test the market for your position with a job search, even if you are not looking for a new job. This one is tricky as you have to make sure that your current employer doesn’t learn that you are conducting a job search. Finding out how much you are worth on the open market will build your self confidence and help you when review time comes around. You may be able to do this with a simple review of a salary survey to see where you fall within the salary guidelines. This information is widely available on the internet. Be sure you know your worth and keep the information current. It will help you make decisions about your career and your future.
  6. Pay down any consumer debt you owe and start to save money. Nothing can erode your self confidence like not having control of your finances. Paying off your debts will give you tremendous personal power and a feeling of total control over your life. This may sound simple in concept but it is very difficult for most people to do. If you are in debt, adjust your lifestyle to fit your income. That could include getting rid of expensive spending habits like excessive eating out, a double latte every morning or buying unnecessary clothing.
  7. Take your savings and invest it in a secure, long-term investment. You can build tremendous self confidence by knowing that you have a secure nest egg in case you need it. Almost everyone will have to tap this resource at some time during their working life so if you don’t have money saved, you need to start immediately. Keep adding to this savings with your retirement in mind. It gives you tremendous confidence to know that you can retire early if you choose.

I hope that you have found something in these seven tips that can teach you how to build self confidence. What teaches you how to build self confidence? If you would like to share your story, please contact me here.

Click below for Related Links on Motivation:

Ten Self Motivation Tips to 
Change Your Life Now!

The Meaning of Success
is Exclusively Yours!

Positive Self Talk Will
Keep You Motivated 

Five Steps to Self Confidence Building for Newly-Hired College Graduates 

Five Steps to Overcoming Fear Now

Go Beyond Positive Affirmations
to Change Your Life

Return to Home Page: Motivation and Self Improvement Guide 


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About the Author of this Website

My name is Carolyn Jolly. My professional life has been in sales, marketing and IT management. Along the way I’ve been studying and experimenting with self improvement and personal development techniques for the past 20 years. I have had more than a few mind-blowing experiences and I’ve made some discoveries that have shaped my ideas. I’m now using this website to pass those ideas along.

Our world is changing very rapidly. Many of the constants and institutions we thought to be permanent are now crumbling or changing drastically. This website is dedicated to those interested in how to manage their lives in light of these changes or in just becoming a better person. I hope the information you find here will stimulate you to embark on your own voyage of motivation and self improvement.

I hope that you will find something here that interests you. If you have any questions or comments, you can reach me here.

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